Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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