I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
