You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
