so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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