I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize