Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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