He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
