Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
