the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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