I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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