I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
