my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
