we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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