Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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