He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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