i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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