What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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