my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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