I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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