I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
