I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize