Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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