She is in my trunk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize