idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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