I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
