Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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