Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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