The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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