she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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