My hand turned me down
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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