then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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