And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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