Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
