Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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