You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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