IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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