Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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