Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
