just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
