he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
