I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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