i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
