"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
