Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Panties = found
Randomize
