I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
