i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
