I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
