just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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