I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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