dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
