where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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