You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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