I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
