You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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