We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
