so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
