I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
