So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
