Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
