Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
