why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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